playing in the creek (Wyatt)
after a "Hungry Caterpillar" party at school (Walker)
I believe it was Job who said to his wife after the Lord sovereignly allowed things to be stripped away from his life, of great value (health, children, possessions) when she questioned her husband's faithfulness to the Lord despite His taking away things - it was Job who responded to her by saying...
"Shall we accept the good from the Lord, and not the bad?" (Job 2:10)
I write about the good. No problem.
I don't write about the bad. All that much.
Well as believers (and any person on earth for that matter) there is the good and there is the bad. As believers, we are being sanctified by the Lord with each and every step, crawl and movement we make towards the cross. And it hurts.
I don't like to write about the bad.
Namely, my own bad.
The truth is, I'd rather stay away, not write anything at all on my blog than to write about my bad. Why would anyone want to say "I didn't like the way I did life today."
I didn't like the way I loved my husband. I didn't like the way I parented, or spoke to my children. It's much easier to just not write anything than it is to post about what a terrible person I am. I work hard (and am pretty sure we all do) to uphold an image that is just simply, not true. We are fallen. We are sinful. And we never graduate from grace. (as Rev Dave Kulp put it this morning in his sermon).
We are reliant on God for our salvation.
And we are reliant on God for our sanctification.
Friend, I will tell you. I am sinner being humbled my sin, still. I will never escape that this side of heaven. And my soul longs for that place, heaven, where we will no longer sin, be sick, or sad. I long for the perfection that only being in the very presence of the Father and His Son, Jesus can bring. I strive each and every day for perfection on earth and am disappointed. I cannot be the perfect wife. And I cannot be the perfect mom. I do and will continue to fail. But it is not hopeless for me. Jesus is my hope but He is also my means by whom I humbly rely on.
"All things are of Him, through Him and to Him. To Him be the glory forever. Amen." Rom 11:36
I have thought about blogging several times, but when I'm reminded about the kind of morning I had with my children I quickly think to myself "I don't want to listen to me". I'd rather glean from the Word of God where my hope comes from or from others who are humble and striving for the cross each and every day.
This morning in church we sang these words:
"I take, O cross, the shadow for my abiding place
I ask no other sunshine than the sunshine of His face
Content to let the world go by to know no gain nor loss
My sinful self my only shame, my glory, all the cross."
Upon finishing these sweet words, Wyatt leaned into to my ear and whispered,
"Mommy, that song makes me cry tears.
Happy tears."
We never graduate from grace.
