Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Let Them Fail.

I desperately desire for my children to make the wisest, best and right choices. I'm coming to terms with the fact that I can't make their choices for them. And that is difficult. Perhaps the most difficult part of motherhood for me, next to the decision I can't make for them to ultimately choose Jesus over everything else in this world. Again, I'm coming to accept that I can't make this decision for them.

I recently discovered that one of the best things for my child is for him to fail. I know. It hurts me even to write it. But truly, I tasted this in its bittermost form.

I was talking with a sweet lady from my church, Miss Wanda. Wyatt knows her well. She and I were talking and my Wyatt develops this intense frown and then just throws his arm back and hits her. I was beyond mortified. How do I explain this? Where did this come from? Where is the nearest rock for me to crawl under? So, I very unpreparedly handled this by demanding that he apologize to Miss Wanda, which he did. We talked about it later and he was punished for it. As if that weren't enough, later that week, again at church, it happened two other times to two other ladies I was speaking with. Both of which he was punished for.

About three months went by and then one morning at breakfast Wyatt asked me, "Mommy, do you remember when I hit Miss Wanda?" - "Yes," I replied and then we had a conversation about it - reminded him that if it happened again there would be a consequence and reminded him that it was unkind of him, etc. I also asked him some questions about why he did it for which the answers were somewhat vague.

Recently Miss Wanda came up to me and shared a neat story with me. Wyatt sought her out at church one morning (I was nowhere around) and this is what he said to her.
Wyatt -"Miss Wanda do you remember when I hit you."
Wanda - "Yes, Wyatt. I remember."
Wyatt - "I'm sorry. That was not kind."

I'm so thankful for the Lord and His commitment to my children. His ability to speak to their hearts is far beyond my own. He is able to do exceedingly, abundantly, above all that I ask. (Eph 3:18).

I know that this is one of the many times that
I will patiently(prayerfully) watch,
let go
and allow my child to fail...
...and...
stumble his way to the cross...
...the same way that I did.
"I have called you by name. You are mine." - Isaiah 43

5 comments:

taiterg said...

oh sage. i just love it when you share stories like this. ou speak to my heart when you are sharing yours.

Cayce said...

this is beautiful. it ministers to me tonight. thank you friend for sharing your "real" life with me. i treasure you!

Bran said...

i struggle so badly with letting my sarala fail. i need to do it more. i must let go!!! thanks for the encouragement.

Kayne and Thomas said...

That is a sweet story and so true. It is hard to watch them fail and it is hard to not make decisions for them. Life is such a learning process. I love that he talked about it, thought about it and apologized to Mrs. Wanda. What a sweet heart he has!

amyop said...

I hope Wyatt has his best birthday party yet! We will be thinking of you guys all weekend and will see you Sunday!