This was a much longer process than I had anticipated.
And this was the second of 2 recent trips.
I had to wait in line....for....nearly an hour.
My, how the darkness in my heart was evident when I began to wait in that line.
I was determined, focused and unwilling to engage with anyone. (darkness again)
I wanted to wait, quietly, all to myself, turn in my paperwork and walk away, practically pretending it never happened and I was never there.
And go on with my pretty normal life.
My thoughts of myself had been so elevated.
"I am not one of these people" kept coming to mind.
As if I was separate. different. set apart.
And lo and behold, I was waiting in the same place, in the same line, trying to utilize some of the same services everyone else in my line was.
At some point during my wait, I remembered that verse that says:
"Humble yourself in the sight of the Lord.
And He will lift you up."
My thoughts began to become less of me. And more on...Jesus. ("what you have done to the least of these, you have done to me.")
Compassion began to enter my heart and humility, as well.
It was as if the Lord gave me exactly what my prideful, self-sufficient heart needed at exactly the most appropriate time.
Not even seconds later.
A lady came around the corner pushing a cart full of ice cream.
Each little bowl, full of neatly scooped ice cream, sprinkles and spoons.
Just like at a birthday party.
And we were the guests.
All of our faces lit up.
The lady in front of me, her little boy, the man behind me.
the lady two lines over.
Mine, probably more than anyone. As I, am a sucker for sweets. And have often received them on the same level that I receive someone telling me "i love you."
My thoughts rapidly changed to "I want some ice cream!"
What a gift from the Lord - I mean, has there ever been a recorded ice-cream giveaway at DSS in history? "...and He will lift you up."
But also - the reality of my selfish heart.
"I will not be identified with these people...unless it serves me."
Lord, please change the darkness in my heart. I want to have the heart of Jesus wherever I am, whatever line I'm in and by whomever I stand.
Thank you Lord for the humility moment...and the ice cream.
"humble yourself in the sight of the Lord.
and He will lift you up." James 4:10
2 comments:
Beautiful.
Oh, my. My husband lost his job at an engineering firm during the summer of 2008, when the economy took its nose dive. In the eight months it took him to find employment again, we also had to avail ourselves of "services"...SOOO far outside of our comfort zone. The hours I spent waiting in lines and in waiting rooms did a lot to wrench the pride from my heart, as well as my judgements of those who I assumed were abusing the system. The Lord tenderly guided us throught that season of our lives, and those experiences were some of the most profound.
(My husband and I are Clemson grads, and I arrived at your blog by hopping through other friends' blogs :). I think we may have overlapped a bit...were you involved with Crusade? You look familiar!!)
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